For my devotional time, I've been running through the book of Luke and I have never been more challenged, refreshed, convicted and convinced in my whole life! Walking through the life of Jesus through the eyes of eye-wtinesses and recounted through the pen of Luke has been great for me. I could continue down the path of what God has done in a sense of generality, but I desire to be specific.
The passage above hit me between the eyes. As I read it, I pictured myself as one of the disciples. Here we are in a HUGE storm, swells coming up over the boat, we're taking on water and everything I know about sailing is worthless because the wind is so strong I can do nothing to save the ship. And then there's Jesus, sleeping as sound as a kitten huddled in the warm belly of its mother!
We've been making loud suggestions towards Jesus saying things like: "Oh boy, the wind is horrible, if only we had another hand on deck, we might beat the storm", and still he doesn't wake.
I see myself getting ticked off at Jesus thinking arrogant things like: "Of course he can sleep, he's just a prophet, he knows nothing about sailing! He's sleeping because he's not water-wise enough to know we can die!"
I see myself getting more and more scared. I keep looking Jesus' way wondering if he could do something, anything to save us! I begin to freak out, running my death and the deaths of my buddies through my mind and I finally get tired of waiting for Jesus to wake up. If he's really in touch with God I reason, he should do something, anything to help us out of this situation.
I see me being the one to shoot the elephant on the boat and I would say something like: "Guys, I'm waking the sleeping prophet, I can't take him sleeping. We're going to die and he should be awake to at least give us some comforting parting words!"
In storms, I am just like the disciples. I freak out, I look at the swells, use my "sailing knowledge" of my life and say: "Jesus why are you sleeping! Wake up and freaking help me!"
Jesus, then looks at me as he did the disciples and says: "Where's your faith?"
Where's my faith when the storms of life come? Usually it's in my own "sailing knowledge"; I think things like: "I can weather this storm, just patch this, raise that, move the rudder just so...". Then, when the storm takes over and all my knowledge is obvious muck...then and only then do I seek Jesus to throw me a hail mary.
Where's my faith?
That question still seeks deeply into my heart. Do I really trust God? Have I really given over everything? Why do I rely so much on myself when I know I am nothing?
Where's my faith?
I desire to answer that question: "Jesus, my faith is in YOU Jesus!"
Deep in the inner portion of my heart, I desire to give over every ounce, every fragment of my being over to Christ. Why do I put my faith in different things during storms, why do I freak out and not trust Him (even if he seems to be sleeping?).
I love when I'm captured by Scripture, when the words leap off the pages and smack me in the gut and whack me upside my head. When His Words pierce my heart, make me think and force me to allow His Spirit to transform me.
Lord, may it ever be the way.
Storms are going to come, they will! Where's your faith? Where's my faith? How will we handle them? Can we learn from the response of the disciples?
When the storms come and the question is asked, I hope I can say: "You Jesus, my faith is in you!"