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    Monday, March 2, 2009

    Sex and the Bachelor

    I had WAY too much caffeine tonight and can't sleep. It's 1:53am and my mind is racing. I'm still stuck on tonight's "The Bachelor" show. **WARNING contains spoilers**

    I only started watching the show a couple of weeks ago with my wife and her friends. They all get together at our house and watched the show together. I started working at Chili's instead of hanging with my guy friends...I'd get home after work to them watching the show, thus I was hooked into watching (that was my way of admitting I watched the show whilst still remaining MANLY)

    When I started watching the show, it became clear to me that one young lady stuck out above the rest, especially to Jason (who is the Bachelor). That girl was Melissa. Jason was obviously digging her the WHOLE time...I mean it was blatantly obvious. As a man who has fallen for a girl, I just knew the way he looked at her was "the look". My wife and all her friends also saw it and we knew that he would propose to Melissa, which he did.

    However, the other girl he denied, Molly was a sneaky woman. On the last date they had together, she gave him some hot sex. Melissa I'm sure had sex with Jason as well, but Molly turned the heat on...which made Jason stuck. Do I choose the hot sex over my heart? He chose his heart...for a time.

    The Rose after viewing showed him changing his mind and asking Molly to forgive him and get back with him...which she stupidly does. The woman were stunned, shocked and depressed. I immediately saw the issue...even if Jason won't admit it. It was the SEX factor. He missed the WILD Molly.

    Sex before marriage makes comparisons. We men lean towards our penis rather than our hearts or our heads in a lot of ways. God designed sex to unify, not separate. If you have to gorgeous woman who have sex with you, one was wild, one was sensual...the typical male will choose wild over sensual. However, the one who was sensual was actually a better fit for your LIFE...which is what a wife is, a LIFE partner. Jason couldn't get Molly out of his head. He knew Melissa was the one, the right one for him...yet due to his "encounter" he couldn't stop comparing the two.

    Jason chose his penis over his heart, head and son. God has such a beautiful plan for marriage, the world has such an ugly one. "Sleep around, find the right woman in bed" the world says. As if marriage were all about sex, as if the health of a marriage was solely determined by the amount and wildness of your sex life. As a married man let me...this is a MYTH! Is sex a big factor in marriage? Yes. Should it dictate how you treat, love and cherish? NO.

    This world is so consumer driven. It's all about the quick buck (thus the economic crisis we brought upon ourselves). With that in mind, why wouldn't a man choose the best easy pleasure? Because within marriage for sex to go from "eh", to "good", to "great" to "THE BEST" takes real hard work.

    I am sickened by Jason and his decision. He should be ASHAMED of himself. He didn't love Molly. If he did, he wouldn't have let her go! However, it is a testament to what happens when sex happens before marriage. Comparisons RUIN. Melissa would've never measured up (even if she did) because Jason's fantasy of Molly would always RUIN what he had with Melissa.

    This is why I talk to teens about abstinence. Not because it's a "RULE" but because God designed it in such a way that done any other way it will be flawed. He made it, he would know how it works.

    My rant is over. However, heed what God says about sex. The designer knows how it works. Sex can and will be amazing. God desires it to be amazing (just read Song of Solomon). It just takes time, love and hard work.

    PLUS, when done right, the TRUE love of your life, the person who will ALWAYS be there for better or worse, richer or poorer will be the ultimate lover whom no one can compare to!


    mj said...

    Hey good post. I was too highly disappointed with this outcome. I think you made some great points about sex and sex before marriage, but I want to elaborate.

    The problem with this show is that 1 man is dating several women at a time, having sexual/intimate relationships with each of them, having emotional and sexual relationships as well. This creates SOUL TIES! How could you NOT be severely confused, depressed, sexually/emotionally longing for one woman one day and the other the next? You are right, God designed us to be with one partner. This show all happens in only 2 or 3 months and then it airs. If you are sleeping around, making out, sharing intimate or just personal details with multiple people, and telling them how much you are falling in love with them, then you are bound to make mistakes. Not only sex creates soul ties, but talking about sex, kissing, petting, talking about marriage, love, family, children. All these factors. You will be confused in the mind, have fantasies of each of those girls, and still love and have feelings for both. There's just no time to separate from the other women before the proposal and HEAL. I know Jason can not be the only one who has struggled with the after the "reality show is over blues" and has had mixed feelings. Look at the guy that broke DeAnna's heart and DeAnna herself. They're all confused. They are all broken and damaged goods. Only God can heal them and give them a fresh start in this life. Until they have chosen God they will be broken and continue to make foolish choices.

    Marv Nelson said...

    HEAR, HEAR!! I like it MJ, 100% agree!