A Swift Kick in the BUTT

Recently, I've been re-reading an amazing book titled: A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. I was told I needed to re-read it by a great friend and mentor, because he noticed that I could use the lessons the books teaches yet again. In total fairness, he's 100% correct. I was in the wrong on something and he called me out on it. I both hate and love it when he does this. I hate it because my biggest fear in life has been doing the wrong thing which stems from a need to please people, which God is also calling out of me. However, I also love it, because I know the end result of being called out on your crap will always lead to a healthier me. Which translates into a better man of God, husband, youth pastor and friend. The process of working it through can definitely be an arduous and odious task...but it is all worth it in the end.

Anyways, back to the book. I am half-way through it already (only 96 pages not a feat to be recognized) and have been challenged both in what my friend was discussing with me and in many other ways.

This quote I read the other night was a swift kick in the butt for me: "What does the world need: Gifted men, outwardly empowered? OR broken men, inwardly transformed?"

This quote rocked me in two ways: the first, I've been dealing with for about 3 years now. I like to think of myself as someone who will be big someday. I think inwardly that I'm the man, a great communicator and someone important. I want everyone to like me and when someone doesn't I brush them off as stupid, because how could the not like "this" (points to self). You may say that's horrendous, you may be appalled and I say: "I am too, that's why I'm working on it". I know I am an arrogant man who probably doesn't have talent, who needs to be smacked upside the head a couple times and realize he's small-time chump-change. This reality is a difficult one for me (I am being 100% genuine and admitting this is hard for me), because I desire to be someone of importance...even if I'm not skilled enough a piece of me hopes the world won't notice, so I can have some fun in the sun of the spotlight.

This quote rocked me, because it pinpointed the SIN, and the PROBLEM within my own heart with these desires (Jim, I hope you're reading this). I had no desire for my heart to be transformed...simply my outward gifts. I wasn't asking God: "Change my heart" and if I was it came with the end tag line of "...so I can be somebody Big someday". My desires have had nothing to do with transformation of my heart to his, but simply everything to do with being somebody.

The second way it kicked my BUTT is that it made me come to the point of saying to God: I want a broken, transformed heart for the sole purpose of being inwardly transformed. I desire what YOU want for my life, not what I want for my life.

Just so you know, I am in the process of being BROKEN...so this book and this quote are timely for me. I think my friend and mentor knew that too, thus why he told me to re-read it. My life is being flipped upside down and it's hard. However, pray with me that I will allow God to use this time to call my crap out and make my heart inwardly transformed!

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The Eloquence of Words

I may be a geek, a dork a nerd or what have you but I love words! I love the way words can move you to the core, make you wet yourself with laughter or cry yourself to sleep. The power of words is astounding, horrifying and comforting at the very same moment.

Words are used to illustrate, captivate and motivate. Words are simply powerful. We can't go a day separate from words, for if you don't speak, read, listen or watch...your very thoughts, or prayers uttered in your mind are words.

For all the good words have, they also have the potential to harm, hurt, wound, bruise and even kill. The old adage: "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me" is a lie from the pit of hell! Broken bones WILL HEAL, yet wounds done by the harshness of words can last a lifetime or a tabloid, book or magazine can last for eternity.

I know a girl who was wounded by words. Her world was rocked by words, her heart broken by words and her life altered by words! I know words said to me for good or for ill have stayed with me, shaped me and effected me.

This is the very reason James writes in his book about the tongue, the designer, and user of words.

"Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."
(James 3:4-6)

We need to be careful with the eloquence of our words. We need to ask ourselves "how am I using my words?"

I could tell story after story in my own life where I've used words against people, and they've used them against me. As a blogger/writer and as a preacher/teacher I use words a lot, so I especially need to be asking myself that question. This particular verse in James struck me hard about my words and how I speak:

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."

(James 1:26)

WOW! My religion will be worthless...my profession of faith and utterance of ugly words of hatred or disgust come from the same mouth, which would then nullify my profession! Thus James says:

"but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."

(James 3:8-10)

Have we been cursing men lately? Have we as Christians been leading a charge with tame tongues, or tongues out of control? I am not speaking of any particular happenstance, simply asking a question. Taming the tongue DOES go deeper than just the mouth which utters such harsh words, it stems in our hearts. Jesus in Matthew 12: 34b says this: "...For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."

Jesus calls out our hearts. These are my ramblings, things I've been pondering about my words, about what I say corresponding with what I do and who I am. James challenges me every time I read his words about words. I hope this has challenged you today too!

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The Hardest Thing

Tonight was a very hard night...so hard in fact that I'm up at 12:17am writing this entry. Tonight Marko, my longstanding intern told our teens that this was his last Youth Group.

There is no sin involved, no hard feelings and no punishment. Marko and I are on great terms and love and respect one another like brothers...this was just something God asked him to do.

I respect Marko deeply, because leaving a ministry is the hardest thing. I remember back to when I was an intern and left my internship to take my job here at Living Christ Church. It was much the same as Marko's. I told them on the very night that would be my last, there were tears, there was anger and there was love. Looking a teen in the eyes and saying: "I have to go" is the hardest part of Youth Ministry...so I respect Marko for how he handled it tonight.

Not to neglect or nay-say the hurt feelings of the teens, but out of everyone, I think I will miss Marko the most. A man of courage, authenticity and love (plus a really cool Venezuelan accent)! He was an incredible piece of our team (not just cause he did my "lackey" work either!), and I will always miss his presence in our ministry. I was so effected tonight that my talk sucked...thinking back on it, I probably should've listened to my wife and just not done a talk, but so is life.

Also tonight, I had to let the students know that due to the economic downturn in the U.S., I will be going part-time at the church as well as part-time at Chili's in the Palisades Mall, which will cause the youth ministry in February to change our youth group night from Tuesday nights to Sunday nights. Thankfully they took this bit of news A LOT better than the Marko news. I think they all understood and are ready to take on a different night. It doesn't change much...just the night!

I will be honest though...after tonight I feel sore. It's a spiritual/emotional soreness, because bad news sucks. That soreness is why I'm writing, it helps me put things in perspective, helps me clear my head and helps me put down in words what happened.

To be sure, we will all miss that silly Venezuelan, but I know God will take him to amazing heights in ministry...watch out world, here comes Marko Requena!

Look out Nyack, here comes Impact Youth on Sunday Nights!

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House of Dark Shadows: A Book Review

This book for me is a bunch of mixed feelings. First off, it's not my normal genre of reading, yet it definitely piqued my interest. Let me start with what I didn't like, then I will tarry down the road of what I liked.
The author Robert Liparulo in my opinion works to hard to fit "teen-lingo" into this book. I am a Youth Pastor, so I hang out with teens A LOT and I believe they would agree with me on this point. The tee-lingo which was placed in the book seemed un-natural and forced. The teen who was the video "gamer" only played his PSP 2 or 3 times, neither did he use any "gamer" terms, which if you're going to identify someone as a gamer, they better speak "gamer". Also, the use of "teen words" where they were placed almost seemed like the author was begging for a connection, as if to say the story wasn't engaging enough (which I believe in and of itself it was). If the author was writing this to fit a 14-17 year old, he missed his mark, however if he were attempting to reach a younger teen audience of the 9-12 range, I think his usage of teen words would make that pre-teen feel cool, or "apart of" the story because the misuse of teen words, or plugs for the PSP would excite them rather than turn them off. I am not entirely sure this was his motivation or even his target age.
The story as a whole was engaging despite the misuse of teen-lingo. The premise of a house that has portals to different worlds is inviting and exhilarating. There were points where I couldn't put the book down because I had to know what was coming next. The story was well thought out and planned as I am sure the whole series is (this is book 1 in a 3 part series). The characters for the most part are believable and real. The many twists and turns that this book takes the reader on are fun as well as completely unexpected (especially the ending where...oh I'm not telling you!). Maybe I am a bad suspense reader, but I honestly couldn't foresee the outcome.
Lastly, I enjoyed the book. It was an easy read but very intriguing, engaging and fun. If I had a tween (10-13 yr. old) I would hand them this book, knowing they'd enjoy it! To check it out for purchase or for extra information, go here: http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/product_detail.asp?sku=1595544941

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Lone Warrior

Next to him was Eleazar son of Dodai the Ahohite. As one of the three mighty men, he was with David when they taunted the Philistines gathered at Pas Dammim for battle. Then the men of Israel retreated, but he stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword. The LORD brought about a great victory that day. The troops returned to Eleazar, but only to strip the dead. (2 Samuel 23:9-10)

This is an incredible story that is just plugged right into the Bible. Picture the scene: The battle lines are drawn at Pas Dammim (which means "the Border of Blood"), which is the border between Israel's land and the land of the Philistines. These are two nasty rivals, peoples who've hated each other for centuries. This very border is the scene of massacre after massacre. There has never been a winning battle for either side decided on this border. It is home to many a death for Israeli and Philistine alike.

The Israelites are taunting the Philistines from across the border. The three mighty men and David taunting the loudest. As hardened warriors, the Philistines are not about to let the Israelites insult them, nor their woman and definitely not their mothers. So they taunt back, and begin the war cry. The Israelites being their war cry, banging their shields with their swords all while screaming across the line at the Philistines. The Philistines of course answer back with their own shouts and sword banging. The noise is deafening, the battle coming is almost palpable. You can sense the tension rising. Eleazar especially feels his adrenaline pumping. He is ready to kill many man in the name of the Lord. No one will taunt his God, the God of Israel, his righteous anger begins to boil over. The hot red flashes of blood lust over take his senses. He can only see red.

King David shouts the call to rush the field, Eleazar leading the pack, in a Holy rage against the Philistine army. The Spirit of the Living God descends upon Eleazar and consumes the man whole.

The Israelite army begins to cower before the Philistine army. Sudden dread overtakes them. The ranks become confused, the men begin to fall back even King David retreats, but not Eleazar. The Spirit has taken him into the middle of the Philistine ranks alone. He pushes toward the center, men falling dead by his swords mighty blows. No foe can stand against him. One after another men die at Eleazar's bloody sandals. The Lord has overtaken him and his sword arm no longer is his own, it is the judgement of God which he is now dishing out. Not a single Philistine can stand his ground against such a foe. They begin to cower back, soon they are running away from this blood-thirsty sword which never seems to slake its thirst.

Shortly after they begin to run, they all seem to retreat. The horn sounds and all of them run away. The run in fear from Eleazar, one man with a bloody sword. Soon Eleazar comes to his senses and realizes all are gone. He looks down at his feet and there is a pile of dead bodies surrounding him. He looks at his bloody sword and puts it into its sheath. He attempts to loose his hand from the hilt but finds he can't. This soldier of the Most High finds that he's been at battle so long and so hard that his hand is now frozen to the hilt of his bloody sword.

Eleazar points the tip of his sword heavenward and praises God for this victory : "The Lord has brought about a great victory this day" he says.

The rest of the Israelite army is stunned at the power of God, that was wielded by this one man. They stay staring at the border of blood, dumbstruck. They see their mighty friend go to his knees and they rush the field to strip the dead bodies of their possessions.

This story blows my mind! I pray for the courage to be like Eleazar, I want it said of me that I went into battle and fought so hard and so long that my sword froze to my hand. You know, the Word is also called the Sword and I spoke this over a young man today, but I also own it as a word for me. The sword in this story represents the Word of God (for this young man and for me), and God is asking me to be so tenacious with the Word of God that it sticks to my hand after battle. That I will use God's Word to SLAY the enemy, taking the battle to the BORDER of His strong hold and making it a Pas-Dammim ( a border of BLOOD). God's word can slay Satan. It will slay him up, down, left right and center. The Word of God cuts the throat of the enemy. I've been like the other Israelites: tough enough to taunt him, but too cowardly to get into battle. I want the blood lust of the Spirit to come on me so I can be used by God to bring about a great victory. I don't want this for the glory of Marvin, just like Eleazar didn't want it for the Glory of Eleazar (nor do I believe this other young man wants the glory for himself), but I (we) want the Glory to go to God!

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