Love and War--A Book Review

I must be honest, I am a HUGE John Eldridge fan and have found his books on masculinity integrated with faith to be both eye-opening and convicting. I didn't expect the same from this book. I went into the reading expecting to hear everything I've heard before with marriage books similar to: "Guys are blue and speak blue; while Girls are red and speak red, we must learn how to speak 'purple'"

I wasn't expecting revelation, new thoughts or advice that was new. Yet, that is precisely what I received! This book has challenged me more than any other book on marriage I have ever read. Here is the reason: John and Stasi really delve deep into the fact that Satan hates your marriage and Satan hates your marriage more if you as a couple desire to do God's will.

This shouldn't be a "revelation" but sadly it is. This component of spiritual warfare has been oddly missing from books on marriage. Not that it's not "mentioned" per se but in Love and War it is exposed, not merely mentioned.

When we fight with our spouses, Satan is laughing and seeing where he can make the boom a KABOOM. Let's not be naive enough to think that when fighting situations occur they weren't planned by the enemy...because most of the time it's been a set-up all along.

John and Stasi also delve into the deep rooted lies we believe about our spouses, those things they do that grate us, those things we end up mumbling: "There they go again, he/she is ALWAYS doing that". We let these lies go deep into our hearts, we become bitter and our marriage has been compromised.

Lastly, John and Stasi go deep into the importance of God as the center of your marriage. How often do you pray together? How often do you pray for each other? How often do you encourage one another in the name of Jesus? How often do you ask Jesus for your next steps together? These and many more questions are brought to the forefront in this book.

For most of us, these ideas aren't foreign in marriage books, so some may say: "I've read that before, this is nothing new" to which I would agree...however there is something fresh about the approach John and Stasi take. Mostly it is a book that is permeated by the raw authenticity of their own struggles in life and marriage. Authenticity always makes me love something and so I loved this book because they were honest about their crap (and their jewels) that they both stirred up over the years.

If you are married, I HIGHLY recommend this book. For a glimpse about what is inside, on pages 125 and 126 they together recap most of the book, here's what they say:

"- You and your spouse live in a love story that is set in the midst of a very real war.
- God gave us marriage, both as a picture of his love to the world, and because we are going to need each other. We are not playing house--we are living in an epic love story.
- Your marriage is a perfect storm because your brokenness and sin collide in devastating precision with your spouse's. Yet God is in that, because he is using your marriage to transform you.
- When it comes to love and happiness, we are broken cups. We will put untold amounts of pressure on our marriage until we realize that God is the waterfall; he is the love we are looking for. The greatest gift you can give your spouse (and everyone else in your life) is to have a real relationship with God.
- You have an enemy, and it is not your spouse. The sooner you come to terms with the fact, the better."

This of course is not the totality of the book, but it is a GREAT overview of some of the main points you will encounter! Read on!


This was book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah.