Biblical Manhood pt. 3

This week, I come back to the series of Biblical Manhood. As I have been talking about this whole series, I truly believe that we men in the church need to come back to our Biblical definition of true manhood opposed to the culture's definition.

In culture, we see a definition of manhood that makes a man into an idiotic goober of sorts.

We go to work, earn our money and give our family second fiddle to everything else that could advance us. We watch commercials that make us look like drunken goof balls who do nothing but golf and drink Budweiser. We see other commercials that make us as men look incompetent, heartless and dumb.

Perfect example of this is a commercial I saw about a phone company. The woman is on the phone calling the company sharing how her husband messed up the phone set up. In the background, her husband is wrestling with a phone wire yelling to his wife to stop calling because he's got it. Eventually, the person on the phone shares with the wife what to do and she flips a switch and everything is OK.

Now, it's OK to have a funny commercial, but most commercials make men look stupid and make a definition that shows us men that this is what is expected of us and so, sadly many men grow into that definition.

Men, we are more than Bafoons! We are called by God to be more. It's awesome to be goofy and funny, but when all we are is a joke, the Devil has won and we are not living in our calling as men.


We are the covering over our families. We are the ones who are to protect those we lead. We have a high calling. We are to be godly husbands, godly sons, godly fathers, godly leaders of our households, yet I fear we have given up some of these rights.

  As the covering of our families, we are the preachers and teachers in our household.  This means, we need to be in the Word with our family and if we're single, we need to be in the Word ourselves, so when we have a family, we can be prepared for the teaching we will bring to our families.  As men, we must step up to the plate and accept our role as story tellers to our friends and families. 

  Here is a heavy thought: as men, we are responsible for our families.  We are responsible to tell the stories of God rescuing us.  We are responsible to share the Biblical stories of Creation, Fall, Redemption and Restoration.  We are to share the Biblical narrative with those around us.
Psalm 44:1 says: "...O God, we have heard with our ears, our fathers have told us,what deeds you performed in their days, in the days of old..." (Psalm 44:1)

 I want MJ to say that to God one day.  I want my son to stand before the throne of God, when he begins to own his own faith and claim Jesus as his Lord, I want him to say: "I have heard with my ears from my Daddy what deeds you performed in his life and in the days of old". 

  I need to tell the stories of my families fall, redemption and restoration because they are there.  I can't hide my families past junk in hopes of "protecting my child" because God has done GREAT things.  His deeds have been mighty.  His deeds have bee powerful.  His deeds have been redemptive and restorative.

  We can be goofy with our kids, we can be goofy with our lives, but lets not goof up our responsibility to teach our children.  We have the honor of sharing God's stories with our families.  Pray for the family, pray with your family.

  My favorite time of the day is Bible time with Hilary and MJ.  Each night, we sit in the rocking chair and read the Bible together.  MJ knows it's coming because he asks for his "special water" and then "Bible!"  When he opens up the pages to Adam and Eve, he shouts: "No Apple!".  When he opens up the pictures of Jesus, he exclaims: "Jesus!  Kiss Jesus!".  These moments make me want to cry because he sees the importance of the Bible and of Jesus.

  We close our family devotions with a prayer and he squeezes his little eyes shut to pray.  After about 7 seconds, he starts rubbing my hair or talking over the prayer but he's getting it!

  We as men need to leave the world's definition of Manhood behind and embrace our God given definition, which includes being God's story tellers to our families!
 




Marv Nelson
Student Ministries Pastor
ACAC

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Biblical Manhood pt. 2

  I think men in our culture have forgotten the ancient idea of legacy. 

  I think this is particularly true with younger men.  So many of us think that the stuff we do either only effects us or doesn't effect anyone.  Young men find themselves in deep traps of lust, pornography, pride, covetousness and many other things that they think only has bearing on them and their lives.  Yet they don't realize that their sins and their poor decisions do in fact effect their children and their children's children.

  The idea of legacy when one thinks about it, does in fact add a ton of pressure to a person but it also makes us take a sober look and see that what we do in life really does echo through eternity. 

  When you look at the Old Testament, you see over and over again God talking about people being blessed or cursed based off of what their fathers did.  We see phrases like: He followed the Lord just like his father or He follows the Lord because his father did.  We also see phrases like: may the sins of this generation follow your line to the fifth generation after you!

  The reality is, that we men need to think in terms of legacy, because we are either laying down a destructive path for our children and grandchildren or a healthy one.  Isn't it odd that most dads who are alcoholics have alcoholic sons? Don't you find it terrible that an abusive husband ends up procreating abusive husbands?

  The reality is there and we must watch our lives; first so we can be right with God and second so our kids can be.

  I do not mean to diminish the role of a mother, for mothers are great and loving and kind, but we men seem to have the task of taking the responsibility for our legacy, unlike women do.  If you go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ and type in the phrase: "because his father" you'll get 32 results, and you type in "because of his mother" you only get one viable result.

  We men are held accountable for our legacy, so we must begin a legacy that is on track with the Lord, we are to create a legacy that is given over to the Lord an we must own up to our junk and seek for God to cut it out of our lives.

  To make it more plain.  If we are struggling with sexual sin, we can bet our kids will.  If we are struggling with perpetual lying, we can bet our kids will.  If we are struggling with worshipping money, or anything besides God, you can bet our kids will.  It's time to confess our junk men!  It's time for us to come clean and redirect the path of our legacy.

  That's the God-given gift---we can redirect the legacy our fathers have left for us!  We don't have to live in the shadows of a bad legacy.  If you come from a broken home, you can redirect your legacy to a healthy marriage.  If you come from an abusive home you can redirect your legacy to love and comfort.  If you come from a home of alcoholism, you can redirect your legacy.

  How can we direct our legacies?  By giving over to the Spirit of God, admitting that you can't change on your own.  Owning the sins in your life, seeking help, accountability and manly friendship, that's how!

  Our young men are walking around, feeling hopeless...we can change their legacy by the power of God!  If we yeild to God and his desires for our lives, rather than our own desires, our legacy will turn upside down.  For too long, we men have tried to change on our own, without the Power of the Spirit to guide us.  It's time for us to man up and hand our lives back over to God and ask him to make a God-Driven legacy that will last to the fifth generation!

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Biblical Manhood

  The other night, I was in my men's bible study and I was struck by some things in the book of Colossians that I hadn't really connect deeply with until then.

Here's what Paul says in Colossians 3:12-14

  "Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony" (Col. 3:12-14 ESV).

   The qualities above Paul is discussing as if they are clothing, something we are to put on.  When I looked at this list of "Clothing" we are to consciously put on, I realized that as men, these are hard things to clothe ourselves with.  We men love strength, force, mighty works and not that these qualities aren't strong, forceful or mighty, it's just that as men we don't normally think of the above qualities as "manly".

  I am a  selfish being, compassion, kindness, meekness, patience and love are sometimes rare in my male heart.  I don't want to speak for all men, but it seems as I survey manhood,  for many men, it seems that it is hard for us to be compassionate, kind, patient and loving and in many ways we look at these qualities as feminine.

  This is not the case!  Paul was a Dude's dude, he had the snot beat out of him, he had been beaten by stones, shipwrecks and many other horrendous happenings.  He had all these qualities and he was a Dude.  The problem I think is our idea of these qualities.  We look at them in ways that are feminine so we reject them.

  I must say that the Western church has done much damage in feminising these qualities and has not properly taught masculine faith.  Compassion is a deep move of one's spirit that should cause one to rise up and desire to fight for justice.  Compassion is not always the sad feeling one feels for poor people, it is deeper.  It moves a person into action.

  The same for kindness, it is a deep movement in one's spirit that drives one to action.  It comes off with nice actions but it is a deep movement of one's being.

  Patience and meekness as well, they are not these mushy gushy things we can sometimes portray them as.  It takes a ton of guts to be patient and meek.

  Humility for me is one that hurts to put on because I am naturally prideful.  God has been challenging me deeply on my pride and really pointing out my nakedness where humility is concerned.  One of the guys in the Bible Study the other night said: "Putting on humility is really a question of where is your confidence." He went on to say that "Humility is confidence in God and Pride is confidence in yourself".  I fully agree and from a cultural standpoint, we men struggle with this because we're taught that in order to be good men, we must put our confidence in ourselves and show people how confident we are in ourselves.

  As men who desire to follow Jesus, we must become humble.  We desperately need a generation of men putting their confidence in Christ rather than themselves.  For too long we men have done our families and our church a disservice because we've been putting our confidence in ourselves and not God.

  The clothes we've been putting on are not the clothes of the new self as laid down by Paul in Colossians 3.  Rather, we've been living in the old self, relying on ourselves, caring only for ourselves and not the world outside of us and our families.

  God is moving.  His Spirit is calling men out.  Will we be there to answer the call as Warriors for the Lord?  Or will we sit back and think "someone else will take care of it"?

  We can't continue to abdicate our calling onto other people.  We men must stand up and stand in the gap.  We can be the changers, the movers and the makers of this great city by the Power of the Holy Spirit.  We can be a part of the solution to the absentee Fathers in our city.  We can stand in the gap and show these younger, fatherless young men what a man is really like.  We can be men who deny the weak man on the corner and step up to model real Fatherhood, real Manhood!

  I'm going to be doing a Biblical Manhood series for awhile starting this week.  Please keep checking back and add your thoughts to the mix!

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Who's Laughing Now?

  On Monday nights, I lead a Men's Bible Study with a great group of awesome guys.  We've been running through the book of Colossians together and we all have learned alot so far.

  This past week, I was inspired by several things that popped in the Scripture but one stuck out more than the rest.

 "by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.  He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him" (Col. 2:14-15 ESV).

  These passages are packed with several implications for the believer, all of which we desperately need to sink deep into our lives.  The first implication is that when we come to Christ, receive Him as our Lord and Saviour, he takes the record of our sins, that long, miles long list of all the junk we either committed or omitted and he cancels the WHOLE thing.  It's done, completely erased and our record of sin is thrown as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12)! 

  Satan is a good accuser and he loves to remind us of our haunted past.  He keeps a record of our sins so that when we receive the grace of God in the forgiveness of sins, he can remind us of the junk and try to keep us down and hating ourselves by this. Satan jeers at us, laughs at us and points his finger at our sins.  He speaks lies over us that we sadly succumb to and believe.  He says things like:

"God could never forgive that sin, might as well pack it in now"
"You are so disgusting"
"No one will love you once they find out about this past junk"
"Your life is a heap of failures, bad decisions and mess ups, you will never be different"

  Those statements however believable are lies.  God is more powerful than our past and more powerful than the lies that keep us down.  The next part of these verses is just as powerful.

  Paul, knowing this to be a tactic of Satan, doesn't then just mention the forgiveness of sins, he goes deeper and shows that God exposes Satan's lies and puts him to open shame through the nailing of our sins to the cross. 

  When Christ went to the cross and died for our sins, several things happened all at once and one of those things is that God stripped Satan down naked and exposed him to the world!  When God died, he set in motion the ability to see the lies of Satan and laugh at how ridiculous they are.

  Christ death on the cross gives us the power to laugh in Satan's face for the lies he spins, because we can now see them as they are: comical jokes that have no power.  This is why the cross ticked Satan off so much, not only did he lose his grip on humanity, he was no the laughing stock of heaven.  He was fully exposed and now we can jeer at his lies!

  Christ, when he rose from the dead looked Satan in the eye and said: "Look Who's Laughing Now!"

  Now we come to the point of what implications this has for us as believers. 

   First, it's a great passage to remind us that our sins are forgiven, they are cancelled.  When we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, he takes our rap sheet and BURNS it in the middle of the courtroom.

  Second, this passage reminds us that our sins are nailed to the cross.  We see again, the power of Christ's death on our behalf.  The only reason our rap sheet can be burned is by the sacrificial death of the pure lamb: being Christ.  So much was done in that act that the full implications of it won't be seen until heaven, but this we know: by the power of the cross we now can have life.

  Third, we no longer have to allow the past to determine our future not matter how volatile the past may be.  Our past no longer holds us down the way it once did.  We will still possibly deal with the consequences of those sins and actions, but they can no longer put us to shame.  With those records being cancelled, we no longer need to fear their power.

  Fourth and last, Satan is exposed.  We now can turn and laugh at his silly jokes.  We don't need to listen nor believe his lies upon our lives.  We can now stand by the Power of  Christ through the Holy Spirit within us and jeer at Satan when he accuses us and jeers us.  We can now, like Jesus say: "Look Who's Laughing Now!"

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The Coming of Jesus

One of the manliest passages in Scripture comes in Revelation 19:11-21.

The Second Coming of Christ will be NOTHING like His first.

When he came to Earth, that wonderful Christmas Morn', he was born in a humble, meek manner. His coming was noted, rejoiced over, then seemingly forgotten. Jesus during his time on earth spent his life in servitude.

He healed the sick. He cast out demons. He came to "seek and save the lost". He was a "doctor to the sick". He performed miracles. He lived his life as we should. He was our example, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide and direct his life...as we should.

Jesus didn't even come to condemn the world (John 3:17) but to SAVE IT!

Christ came, lived a humble life, submitted to the will of the Father and died a horrific death on a cross, so that the world might be justified to the Father. He then rose from the grave on the 3rd day and conquered sin and death!

He then promised a Second Coming.

The second coming would not be meek and mild-mannered, but BOLD and INTENSE! Jesus WILL come as a King coming to claim His throne. He will spare His Children (in fact, we will be with Him in the air!) and will wipe out his enemies. Jesus the Warrior King will come down from Heaven and take over the earth. It will be so bloody, so intense, that the birds of prey will gorge themselves on the flesh of the enemies of Christ.

If that doesn't scream "Manly" I guess, I have no idea what manly is. Here is the passage:

"11 Then I saw j heaven opened, and behold, k a white horse! The one sitting on it is called l Faithful and True, and m in righteousness he judges and makes war. 12 n His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are o many diadems, and he has p a name written that no one knows but himself. 13 He is clothed in q a robe dipped in [4] blood, and the name by which he is called is r The Word of God. 14 And the armies of heaven, s arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, t were following him on white horses. 15 u From his mouth comes a sharp sword v with which to strike down the nations, and w he will rule them with a rod of iron. x He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. 16 On his robe and on his thigh y he has a name written, z King of kings and Lord of lords.

17 Then I saw an angel standing in the sun, and with a loud voice he called to a all the birds that fly directly overhead, b “Come, gather for c the great supper of God, 18 d to eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of captains, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all men, both free and slave, [5] both small and great.” 19 And I saw e the beast and the kings of the earth with their armies f gathered to make war against him who was sitting on the horse and against his army. 20 And the beast was captured, and with it g the false prophet h who in its presence [6] had done the signs by which he deceived those who had received the mark of the beast and those who i worshiped its image. These two were j thrown alive into the lake of k fire that burns with sulfur. 21 And the rest were slain by the sword l that came from the mouth of him who was sitting on the horse, and m all the birds were gorged with their flesh." (Revelation 19:11-21 ESV)

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Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt.3

Part 3 of the Lorena Bobbit series and the last segment. I've discussed how this series was spawned in my heart and mind by reading Wild at Heart by John Eldridge and how I was simply taking some ideas he brought up in the book ad interacting with them here. This is the same as all the other three entries. His third "man-need" was every man needs a Beauty to save. John talked about the innate desire we men have to rescue the damsel in distress, search out a worthy woman and rescue her. This is why he says that in most "man-films" not only is there brutal, bloody battles, there is a romantic twist where the hero must save the woman, or must love a woman...Somehow, somewhere in these "man-films" this is true. Take for example Troy, Helen of Troy is the catalyst for the fighting. Gladiator has two woman, one is the dead wife of Maximus that he is romantically avenging, and the other is the Princess of Rome who has an attraction to Maximus. The list goes on and on.

My point is this: I agree that this is an innate piece of manhood. However, it's hard for us to detect it and more often then not, it gets men in trouble. It gets men into trouble because when it comes to a Beauty to save, our brain overlooks all things but the beauty we wish to save. This s both highly romantic and highly stupid. For example, a young boy who loves a young girl. The young girl hates her house and wants to be rescued away. The young boy, seeing his opportunity to free the young girl, steals her away one night on a romantic whim, they move in together and...usually the story doesn't end with "and they lived happily ever after..."

You see, I got lucky! There was no real BIG issue of rescuing I did for my wife Hilary. we started dating when we were 16...I stupidly broke up with her TWICE during our relationship. She took me back both times and now we are happily married, with a son on the way! However, I learned early on that I could be her hero in serving her, loving her and treating her right. We men have an innate saving complex so much so that when our woman have troubles, we try to rush in and fix it. I'm slowly learning when this is OK, and when I need to simply listen...

What's my point? Where is Lorena Bobbit in here? Well, Lorena doesn't want to be rescued. She doesn't let the man be a man and save her. I said I got lucky, because my wife let's me save her, she allows me to be her hero and tells me I am such. But so many woman try to do it on there own all the time. Pushing away their husbands, not letting them be their hero.

This is not to say at all that woman are weak and can't help themselves...I'm simply saying that when the World of Woman tell the World of Men: "I don't need you...EVER!" it emasculates them. Feminism is good and feminism is bad. The past 25 years, woman have been standing up for themselves more and more...which is good and needed...but they've also been emasculating men more and more. In feminists attempt to have respect, they've slashed at the men who truly wanted to rescue them, love them and be there hero. Men need to hear the words: "You're my hero" and when they don't they shut down.

This world is full of emasculated men wandering around looking for the thing to make them men. They don't step up to rescue even their own children...it's sad.

I am thankful that my wife lets me save her. Has she ever told me she doesn't need me? Yea, but she lets me be her hero. I'm a lucky guy!

This is why fathers who have daughters love to be the hero to their daughters...they feel manly in the protecting role. This is why men call out their boys to protect their sisters. Men, it's OK to be men ad want to rescue your ladies. After all, the ultimate MAN, Jesus rescued us all, who are His Bride!




If you are interested in reading Wild at Heart whether you are a man or woman, I encourage you to do so. Trust me it will help you understand manhood and boyhood with a clearer picture than without reading it. Either go to the library and pick it up, or click on the picture below, it'll take you to a link where you can buy it.

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Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt.2

If you haven't yet, read "The Emasculation of Men" and "Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt. 1" before proceeding.

Satan loves the spirit of Lorena Bobbit. He enjoys watching men be stripped of manhood. If he could, he would emasculate all Christian men making them fearful beings who never put up a fight. What we all (woman included) forget is that every day, we are in a violent, bloody war against Satan. If he could make us calm, little puppies instead of fearsome lions, he could make a HUGE negative impact on our lives, our churches and our world.

In the movie Troy Brad Pitt plays an ego-centric, violent, angry, frustrated warrior named Achilles. He is an amazing warrior, who has a following of the Mermadins (the most feared warriors in all the known world at this time). On his way to wage war on the city of Troy, he gives his men a pep-talk. He reminds them how much the people fear them. He revels in their victories and he then says: "We are Lions". He says this with such passion and strength that after the men remember they are lions, they start shouting and getting violent.

In this Spiritual war, we men need to step up as the Lions we were always meant to be. Not neutered lions either! When a lion is neutered, he loses all passion, all desire and he's content to be tame, docile and lazy. Jesus is called the Lion of Judah and believe me...he's "No Tame Lion" (C.S. Lewis The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe). He's a Lion ready to pounce on the enemy, rip his guts out and spit them on the ground!

Men, we all have a battle to fight! A great pastor named Mark Driscoll reminds us men of this on his blog (http://theresurgence.com/). He has soldiers, boxers and other such men appear on his blog, talking about being violent men...for the Kingdom. Why have we lost our desire to go into battle and wage war on the enemy? Lorena has been in the Church too long.

Men! The Armor of God is ours to wear! Jesus is our commander, reminding us of how he has won battle after battle. We are Lions and we don't have to be "tame"! Let's meet Satan head on, let's be with people who need Jesus and fight for their souls as you would a dying comrade on the battle field. Why have we lost this vigor? We've been tame for far too long.

However, don't go into battle blindly! Read Ephesians 6:10-18. Keep Your Swords Sharp!

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Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt.1

In my post "The Emasculation of Men" I discussed my recent reading of Wild at Heart by John Eldridge and how it positively effected me. I also stated that I would be writing a series of post on the topic, this is the first one in that series. Just for reference, Lorena Bobbit was the woman who angrily emasculated her husband back in the 90's. Guarding against her is guarding against anyone, or anything that would attempt to emasculate men today.

Men are adventurous, not saying woman aren't but we men have an innate desire to live an adventure. All of them look differently of course, but needless to say, we are adventurous. I'm, reminded at how ingrained this is into our manly core when I watch my nephew Evan. He loves adventure, discovering new things and exploring. One of his adventures I saw recently was the adventure of jumping from my coffee table onto the couch or into his dad's or my arms. He gets a thrill from jumping, which to him would probably seem like a near death thrill, since the coffee table is his height. Again, we men are adventurous, it's in our being, it's the way God designed each one of us. We desire the thrill of adventure, the joy of jumping off coffee tables, not really knowing what's going to happen but flinging our arms wide open embracing what may come.

Some of you men may be thinking that you aren't adventurous and you never have been. I would challenge that and say that at one point you were...something just changed your cerebral desire to do so. Most likely what happened is somewhere along the way and adventure went bad. You stepped out, you flung your arms wide and hit the ground...you completely missed the couch, or the person you trusted to catch you seemingly dropped you. What your brain did then was redirect your desires away from adventure because it's scary or it hurts too much. Let me challenge you to GET BACK UP! Allow God to banish fear, because deep inside you, deep inside me is an adventure that only we can live!

My friend "Greg" (not his real name) is getting ready to live his adventure. He loves graphic design, he's good at it and wants to make a career of it, yet he has a job that pays really well and can't afford to lose it. He is now married and wants to take care of his wife...yet he hates his job. He recently told me he's going to quit his job soon and begin the adventure of graphic design. He doesn't know when, or how or any of the details but he wants to live this adventure.

My other friend "Jordan" (not his real name either) wanted to live his adventure of being an officer in the United States Army...he is now in OCS (Officer Training School).

Both of these guys seem CRAZY to us, dropping their lively hood for a what? An adventure? That's just selfish we say, or that's silly "childish" thinking. YET, inside of us men, we're secretly thinking: Why can't I live that way? Why can't I live out my adventure? The answer is...we CAN!

Lorena Bobbit wants to bring the knife and say: "That's not responsible"; "That's foolish"; "You're being such a kid"; "Wise up" or whatever the phrases may be.
Most of the time, the criticism comes from within the church. Lorena lurks in the halls of your Church. Thankfully in my friends "Greg" and "Jordan" lives, their pastors prayed with them and actually encouraged and are encouraging them down these adventures!

I'm no great adventurer, but recently I've taken the plunge of trying to get a book published. I've been trying for over a year now and have about 6 rejection letters so far. I feel like giving up most days. I feel like throwing in the towel on this adventure because it is so discouraging to have your hard work rejected...BUT it's an adventure I'm going to continue to take. There are others I shy away from that someday I will face, but Lorena can't touch me with this one!

What adventure is your heart screaming for men? Has Lorena been bringing her knife? If so, allow God to give you the strength to live the adventure he's given you. He's sparked your heart, now take the plunge!

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